I want to get out of this “food fear” and disordered eating mindset. I want to be able to dine out with friends without having to research and breakdown the menu ahead of time. I want to be able to not feel anxious about eating things that I have no control over. I want to be able to exercise because it makes me feel good. Not because I feel like I need to. I want to be able to truly enjoy every bite of food I have and indulge when I feel like it. I want to learn to trust my mind, body and soul.
I still struggle with my thoughts every day because it’s not something that just goes away in a day. Getting better and recovering is a long process that takes lots of dedication. With that being said, I don’t regret having disordered eating because I’ve learned and grown so much because of it.
5 things I’ve learned from disordered eating
Appreciate food
1) I learned to appreciate food and not take it for-granted. I’ve learned that food is something that is delicious and should be treasured because it nourishes your mind, body and soul. It’s something that gives you the energy to do everything that life has to offer and more. I learned that food IS fuel and not the enemy. I learned to eat clean the right way. I still steer away from processed/packaged food, sugars, refined carbs and red meat. But this time I am doing it because it’s what helps my body work optimally.
Eating this way helps me feel energized and just happy all the time. I love plating my fruit every morning even though sometimes it takes me a good half an hour to do so because who doesn’t like eating pretty food? And meal planning relaxes me and it makes me look forward to every meal because I know how delicious it’ll end up being.
Food blog
2) I finally mustered up the courage to start a food blog because I knew that I was the type of person who really gets into a project once I start one. So I knew that if I started writing, I would have to be consistent with posts. Which also meant that I would have to face my fears and eat out at restaurants! I could write quality reviews as well as bake my heart out to post recipes.
Negative thoughts are just thoughts
3) I learned that my negative thoughts are just words. Whenever I find myself thinking self-critical thoughts, I make myself say “I am a banana” in the most serious tone ever. Not only does it make me laugh but it reminds me that thoughts like “I am not good enough” or “I look horrible” are just statements that have been conjured up in my mind and they aren’t true unless I tell myself they are. So if I believe those self-damaging thoughts, I might as well believe that I’m a banana.
It’s just a number
4) I accepted that the number on the scale is just that, a number. It wasn’t something that defined me as a person nor should it. This was one of the hardest things I had to come in terms with and it still sneaks up on me every once in a while but I’ve learned to ignore it the best I can by reminding myself that there are people around me who would love me no matter what that scale said. Plus, muscle weighs more than fat so I say, bring on the lean muscle mass!
Love yourself
5) I learned to LOVE MYSELF. You are your own worst critic and it’s easy to let the negativity set in when things get bad but don’t forget about the good! I try to write down something I like about myself everyday and put notes in my room to remind myself how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown.
